Smiling
by MissGuitarist
Summary: That’s exactly what I’m doing as I stare at my reflection in the dull well water below me.  I’m smiling, just because I’m thinking of her.  Oneshot.  JoexFarmer, MM.


**A/N: This short little story was based off my game. You see, I was a jerk and raised Joe's hearts to ten, Kurt's to eight, and then randomly decided to marry Kurt. Then I felt bad. Very, very bad.**

**Sorry. I'm such a loser, feeling sorry for a video game character. Rofl XD**

**So, anyways… Joe inspired me to write this story. When you're done reading this, can you do me a favor and give him a hug?**

* * *

**S** m _i_ l **i** n _g_

Smiling. What do you think of when you hear that word?

Maybe you're thinking of a child, looking up at you with a grin on his face. Maybe you're thinking of the sun rising at the crack of dawn, or a flower, blossoming on the first day of spring. Or maybe you're thinking of something so weird I can't even guess it.

But do you know what _I_ think of?

I think of her, smiling up at me with those dazzling brown eyes. I think of the way she makes me feel like a different person when she looks at me; the way my heart tries to beat a hole through my chest when she taps me on the shoulder, or bumps into me when she stumbles through the door. I think of her, opening my hand shyly as she places some sort of gift into my palm. I think of the way she makes _me_ smile.

And that's exactly what I'm doing as I stare at my reflection in the dull well water below me. I'm smiling, just because I'm thinking of her.

My room is loaded with the gifts she gives me. I know she gives gifts to everyone, and I _know_ that they're just little things she doesn't need any more—but I love them all. She gives me these gifts almost every day, and so, my collection of random objects grows. I keep them all upstairs, huddled in the corner of my room. I still have each and every one, starting from the day we met and ending in yesterdays.

But yesterday's gift was different. Yesterday, I didn't put the present in the heaping mound with the rest; yesterday, I put it right here, around my wrist. The memory of her shy, glowing face still burns clearly in my mind.

_"Joe, I have something for you," she said, turning her head towards me wit__h a visible blush on her cheeks. I flashed a smile at her, wondering why she blushes every time she hands me another present. She did do it every day, after all._

_"Yeah? What is it?"__ I asked__, grinning down at her as she eyed the __dirt pathway below her feet timidly__. Her feet shuffled against the ground as if she were scared. She was like a little girl, the caramel strands of hair falling __out of her pigtails and __onto her pink cheeks._

_"__B__efore I give it to you,__ you__ have to promise me something," she told me, still staring at the dirt floor. The setting sun __shot__ golden light through the sea of trees behind her, hitting her fac__e and outlining her hair__, making her glow._

_I scratched the back of my head through my blue bandana. "__Uh… that depends on what it is," I answered, __becoming__ nervous. She __lifted__ her head as her hair wagged behind her, suddenly grabbing my hand and looking up into my eyes._

_"__You have to promise__… that you won't laugh__ at me __when __you see what it is__," she said, staring at me sincerely, still blushing. My heart was trying to beat a hole through my chest again, and __a rush of blood washed over my cheeks like a tidal wave. __It was amazing what a simple touch from her hands could do to me.__ I almost couldn't find my voice when I spoke back to her._

_"U-uh… sure," I __stammered, frozen in place__, staring back __with eyes wide open__ and a__n __awkward__ smile on my face._

_Then, she let go of my hand and stuck hers in her pants__ pocket. __My palm burnt with the after warmth of her touch. __I kept my hand where she left it, holding it out stupidly__, not knowing what else to do__. She stopped rummaging through her tiny pocket, __pulling out__ something__ in a closed fist__. Her head tilted up and she placed her eyes upon me._

_"Here," she whispered, uncurling her fingers over my open pal__m, leaving__ the object lying in my hand. __It __felt__ l__ight and cold against my skin. "I made it. I'm sorry if it doesn't look that great; I'm still an amateur when it comes to__ firing __metal and __stuff__ like that__."_

_I looked down and found a shiny, silver __bracelet__ piled up in the center of my hand. It was a thin chain, intricately woven. My breath caught in my throat._

_She made this… for me?_

_"__I made it last night when I stopped by the blacksmith's shop. He sh__owed me how to__," she said, talking way too fast, blushing madly, "And so, I thought of you, and how you mean the world to me, and… and, well, I wanted to give it to you."__ Then, she heaved out a nervous sigh. "Is that weird?"_

_"It's not weird at all," I answered her. The bracelet was beautiful, glimmering in the setting sun's light. Just like her._

_She smiled, her teeth flashing at him. "Good… I thought you would think __I was __a freak __or something.__"_

_"Pfft. You? A freak? Never," I grinned back at her. She laughed with a relieved __glint__ in her eyes. When the soft giggles faded away, her eyes traveled to the bracelet and back to me. Suddenly, her eyes seemed… regretful, somehow. The __previous __glint__ had__ been replaced with__ something else__, and she looked up at me with __those clouded__ eyes._

_"__You really __mean __a lot__ to me, __Joe__, and I wanted you to have something to remind yo__u of that.__ For the future, I mean, if anything ever happens to us.__"__ Her eyes flicked to the ground and back at him, fidgeting uneasily__ as the words tumbled out of her mouth._

_She was __still __talking way too __fast__. It was kind of funny. __"__Don't worry. You'll always mean the world to me, too__," I __assured her__. Then, she looked up at me with those big brown eyes, wrapping her __arms around __me__ in a tight hug._

My fingers traced the soft edges of the chain around my wrist, as the scene replayed itself in my mind over and over. I had wrapped my arms around her in return. And somehow, that spontaneous touch made me feel something I'd never felt before. Her warmth had flooded into my body, and mine into hers. For that one moment, I felt like I really knew her. And she knew me.

I held myself up with my elbows pressed against the cold rocky wall of the well, staring into the rippled mirror below me. My reflection stared back at me, yawning tiredly. There were bags under my eyes.

Last night she was all I could think of. I couldn't get to sleep. I wasn't going to roll around in my bed all night while my brother growled at me to stop making so much noise. So, I sat up, letting my eyes study the silver chain hanging loosely on my left wrist. It glinted in the moonlight that poured through the window beside me, shining like a bracelet woven out of stars. And then, looking at that bracelet, I realized something.

There, in the dark corner of my room, was a pile of things she had given me. And on my wrist was the most beautiful chain in the world. But I had never given _her_ a gift. Not once.

So I got up off my bed and walked across the room to my dresser. I opened the top drawer, shoving things aside as I dug through the cluttered mess. I was looking for something to give to her. Something she would like.

And then my eyes came across it—the perfect gift.

It was an ancient chain bracelet, grayish-golden colored, and crudely made. The gold links were almost falling off of each other, and the bracelet looked so dull in comparison to the one she had given me. It was old and falling apart… but it was perfect.

So, that's why I sit here, smiling tiredly at my reflection. I'm waiting for work to be over, so I can find her and pay her back for everything she's given me. Even though the dull little chain's not much, it's a start, right?

Suddenly, I heard the sound of running feet slapping across the dirt pathway behind me. My hazy eyes immediately snapped open as I whipped my head around to find _her_, running frantically towards the shop. My mouth automatically curved upwards into a grin.

"Hey, you're here!" I yelled cheerfully to her, moving from my position on the stone well to smile at her. Before she ran up to me, I stuck my hand in my pocket, feeling around for the rough chain bracelet I had brought along just for her. I pulled it out while my heart started beating faster, the way it always did when she was near. Then, grasping the golden chain, I looked up, expecting her to be standing right in front of me—but she wasn't there. All I saw was the shop's front door click as it closed.

Huh. She must not have heard me.

I ran after her, galloping across the short distance. When I reached the front door, I yanked it open as the strong smell of lumber entered my nose. I blinked twice, ignoring the overcoming scent. My eyes darted across the large room, until I found who I was looking for—and my heart plummeted to the bottom of my stomach.

There she was. There she was, holding a blue feather in her hand.

There she was, wrapped around my brother, locked in a passionate kiss. And she smiled, all the way though that kiss, face redder than I had ever seen it before.

_"You really mean a lot to me, Joe, and I wanted you to have something to remind you of that. For the future, I mean, if anything ever happens to us."_

Now, as her words repeated themselves in my mind, I knew what she meant. She was saying sorry in advance for what she was doing right now, right there in front of me.

As I watched them kiss, frozen in the middle of the doorway, I didn't breathe. I couldn't breathe. She had knocked the wind out of me like she had punched me in the stomach—except this was much, much worse.

I _wish_ she had punched me in the stomach. It would have hurt a lot less than this.

I let the door creak shut behind me, making a click echo through the room. Her eyes suddenly shot open as she peeled herself off of Kurt's eager mouth, composing herself before she looked to the doorway—and saw that it was just me. Then she heaved a sigh of relief, and laughed.

"Oh, it's you," she giggled. "I thought it might have been Woody." Her eyes flicked up to meet Kurt's shining hazel ones, and they smiled at each other. Standing there, looking at their happy faces, I felt an invisible knife stab my heart.

When I didn't say anything, she looked back at me with a seemingly permanent smile on her face. "Hey, Joe, guess what?" she squealed. I replied with an empty stare. She took my dead stare as a 'What?' and giggled happily again. "We're… well… Kurt, you tell him!"

My brother's face was burning with humiliation. He brought a hand to his forehead, scratching the camouflage headband, staring shyly at the floor. "We're getting married," he muttered. She laughed again ecstatically, leaping into his arms in an overly excited hug.

The invisible knife that had torn through my heart now twisted itself around, breaking me apart even more.

I was so blind.

All this time, the furtive glances she exchanged with Kurt meant so much.

And all this time, the little gifts she gave me meant nothing. The brightly colored stones, the sodas, the homemade dishes—even the silver chain hanging around my wrist. It was given to me through friendship, nothing else. She gave gifts to everyone, after all.

She didn't mean to break me apart this way, I knew that much. I had broken myself into these scattered pieces by being so naive. She was a flower, waving slowly in a sea of grass, and I was the unknowing child who came across that flower—a pure, beautiful, innocent trap.

And I fell for it so easily, plucking that little blossom off the ground as it turned my world upside down. How could I have known a mere flower could be so dangerous?

"Hey, Joe, what's in your hand?" she asked me, pulling me out of my reverie, blissfully unaware of my tattered state.

I don't know how, but my mouth moved to answer her question. "A gift," I murmured while the rest of my body stood still, frozen and numb.

"Cool! Who's it for?" she asked enthusiastically, arm wrapped around my brother's waist. He had his arm over her shoulders, holding her close, grinning like he had never grinned before.

I looked away. It was too much. "A friend," I answered her, staring through the floor. Then, when she nodded, I clenched the golden chain as tight as I could. I squeezed it until it hurt, and I could only think of the searing pain as it jutted through my skin.

"Just… a friend," I whispered into the air. A drop of blood fell from my shaking fist, splattering on the wooden floor, unnoticed.

"Well, that's really nice of you," she said. "I bet your friend will be happy." I didn't see her face as I turned away, but I could _feel_ her smiling at Kurt, holding him close. I knew that he was smiling back at her, too. They were both so happy. _She_ was just… so happy.

Happier than I would have ever made her with this stupid bracelet.

"Joe?" she asked, pulling me out of my thoughts.

My head flicked up and I stared at her blankly. "Huh?" I stuffed my bleeding hand into my pocket so she wouldn't see.

Her eyes shined as she put her gaze on me. "You know… You're an amazing guy. I can't wait until you're my brother-in-law. Won't that be great?"

And then she smiled at me.

I don't know why, but I smiled back at her like the luckiest guy in the world.

I also didn't know smiling could hurt so much.

* * *

_'Rejection is a black rose_

_Who's thorns will always cut you_

_Until you let it go.'_

_- a poem by me._

But sometimes that black rose stabs through your heart and makes it impossible to rip out without hurting yourself even more.

Sorry for hurting Joe, guys.

:P


End file.
